The Great Adventures Of Naruto And Laurali
by Man I'm like bored and stuff
Summary: While eating ramen one day, Naruto meets Laurali, the insane samurai. Chaos insues. Future Naruhina, One sided OCKiba, TobiOC
1. The Meeting

Yay, my first Naruto story! To all you Drabble fans, I will be updating soon. Don't worry.

And, yes, I know they don't use dollars in the Narutoverse, But in this story, they will, cause I feel like it.

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The guards at the gate to Konoha were slacking off. Yes, the powerful guards, protecting the very lives of the Konohan residents were slacking off. In fact, they were betting. The Hokage is a bad influence. 

"Five bucks says no ones coming here all day," One guard said. Let's call him Larry.

"Ten bucks says someone's going to come within ten minutes," The second guard said. Let's call him Bob.

"Deal!" Larry was quite confident about winning.

Nine minutes and 59 seconds later… 

Bob was sweating. "Hah! I—"

Larry was cutoff by some one far beneath them yelling "HELLLLOOOOOOOOO? I've been yelling for the past ten minutes!"

"Pay up." Bob was ten bucks richer.

"CEASE AND DESIST THE MONETARY EXCHANGE!" The person beneath them was either very smart, or a lawyer shudder.

Bob and Larry jumped down, and found a girl. She was about fourteen, was wearing all black, and had long white hair. I wonder if she knew any Pervs…

She also had no headband, so the guards just let her in, and got back to their gambling. Like I said, slackers. Upon seeing her walk in, Bob noticed a rather large guitar on her back.

With about six headbands tied on it.

From many villages.

Including sound.

And one with a symbol that looked like a large guitar.

Bob reached over to tap her on the shoulder.

He missed.

And touched her guitar.

"NOBODY TOUCHES MY BABY AND LIVES!"

Poor Bob was never heard of again. Larry decided to give up his ninja-ing and go work in a deli where he had a love affair with the owner's daughter, but that is another story, for another time.

Anyways, back to our guitar-loving friend…

"Usumami? That's a weird name…" Looking at a piece of paper in her hand. A resident looked over her shoulder at the strange writing.

"Hey mister, you read English?"

"Um…no…"

"Then I guess you can't read what's on my paper," Whitey said.

"Not really…"

"Let's keep it that way."

Ms. Guitar lover walked off, looking down at her paper. "Nar—is that an n or a u? Hmm…. This guy has terrible handwriting." She mumbled.

Meanwhile at That ramen place I can't spell… 

Naruto sneezed. "Why do I get the feeling someone with white hair and a guitar is talking about me to herself with out knowing my name or how to read Japanese?"

Ayame replied, "I'd lay off the miso for awhile if I was you."

Back with our main character whose name has yet to be revealed… 

"Grr…. I feel like destroying public property."

She marched over to the hokage office and promptly started kicking it.

"Wait, no… I should just ask the next person I see if they can help me! But first, some food."

Upon walking to the ramen stand, she met up with an orange-wearing ninja who liked ramen. I'll give you three guesses who it was, and the first two trys don't count.

"Hey, you! Yeah, you, Blondie!" Our main character said.

"What?"

"Can you tell me who Narmnto Usami is?"

"You mean Naruto Uzumaki?

"Yeah, that's probably what it says."

"That's Me."

"Oh! Hiyas! I'm Laurali, and Some guy whose hair looks like a chickens arse told me to tell you he's not sorry, and he's not coming back, whatever that means."

Laurali noticed Naruto's now sad face.

"What? I'm just the messenger. I met the guy at a bar!"

"It's nothing! Wait. Why were you at a bar with Sasuke?"

"Oh, that's his name. I sing at bars as a side job. I'm really a samurai. That's why my guitar has a blade. See?"

Laurali held up her baby.

"Yup, sworn enemy of all shinobi. Those headbands are all that's left of my boyfriends. I've always been one for violent breakups."

Naruto inched away.

"Relax, I won't hurt you. In fact, if you miss this Sasuke guy so much, I'll help you get him!"

"No thanks."

"Okay, instead, I'll body guard you!"

"NO!"

"But if I don't have something to do, I might get bored. And when I get bored, Ms. Biggles gets upset. And when Ms. Biggles gets upset, PEOPLE DIE!"

"Okay, okay! You can body guard me, dattebayo!"

"Yay!"

"Just one thing, though."

"Shoot."

"Whose Ms. Biggles?"

"Umm... Hey look! A sunset that we can dramaticly walk into!"

And so, Naruto and his new bodyguard walked into the sunset provided by GaiLee Hugs, Inc.

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You like? The first person to review gets to be in my second chapter! And the second reviewer gets to die dramatically! 


	2. The Breaking of Sakura's Window

Okay, second chapter. My first one obviously sucked, because nobody reviewed. That means I suck. You guys make me feel sucky. NOT NICE!!!! If no one reviews, I will be forced to hunt down all you ghost readers and plant a Mary Sue in your head. COME ON PEOPLE!!!

I'm done. You can start reading now.

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_In Naruto's Apartment…_

"Nice place you got here."

"Heh. It's okay."

"Down to business. As your body guard, I have prepared a list of potential threats. Since I am the only person in the Leaf, and probably all of Fire country who can read English, I will tell you all of them." Laurali took a piece of paper out of her pocket.

"First Threat: Akatsuki. I have this one taken care of. Sec—"

Naruto Interrupted, "How?"

" I sent over my twin sister and her legion of Mary Sues to take them out. All the hot guys are evil, didn't you know? "

Naruto blinked and sat back in his chair. "My self esteem has just been trodden on,"

Laurali didn't even blink. "Second threat: Sai."

"How is he a threat? He's mean, cold and inconsiderate, but mostly harmless."

Laurali narrowed her eyes. "He is not a direct threat to you, but he is to my sanity. I mean, come on! He is so blank! I can't read him at all! His word choice is appalling and overly penis-themed! It's disgusting! And he has terrible Fashion sense! I could make that outfit look better!"

She paused, and smiled a cruel smile that made Naruto shrink in terror. " And I will! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Laurali jumped out the window.

"Can I borrow this, art-dude?" Was heard through the open hole in the wall most people call a window.

"What do you mean—AAAAAAHHHHHH!"

Laurali jumped back through the window, holding her prize. Then she smiled her little smile again, and ran into the other room.

Naruto looked out the window.

Sai was standing in the middle of the street, in tighty whiteys.

Naruto burst out laughing.

_Two minutes later…_

Laurali thrust open the door.

"Well? How do I look?" (A/N: Think Sai with white hair and boobs. BIG Boobs.)

Naruto's nose stared bleeding.

And he passed out from blood loss.

"AH! I JUST KILLED MY OWN CLIENT!"

This was not good.

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At Sakura's house… 

"Sakura! You have to help! Naruto's dead! And there are a bout five perverts at your door, waiting for me."

"OMG! Naruto's dead??? And there are Pervs at my door??? And—Wait a second, who are you and how did you find my house?"

"I'm Laurali, Naruto's new body guard. Your name and address were on the fridge."

"Oh."

"Well, is he dead or unconscious?"

Sakura never got to answer Laurali, be cause at that moment the Pervs broke through Sakura's door.

"Helllllloo Hot Mama! Come give me a kiss!" One Pervert said. Let's call him… oh wait. He's Jiraiya.

"PERVERT!!!!!!!!!!!" Laurali screamed, jumping through Sakura's window. And breaking the glass.

"HEY! THAT'S MY WINDOW!" Sakura yelled.

"I can pay for it!" Laurali yelled back.

Sakura just shook her head. She was going back to bed. Naruto could wait.

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Okay seriously. REVIEW. If you didn't like it, tell me what you didn't like. Just so that it doesn't happen again, tell me how to fix it. PLEASE.


	3. THe killing of EroSennin

This chapter is dedicated to Dr. Dani Suess for being my first and only reviewer.(Hint hint, nudge nudge) She will now be in this chapter! Yay!

Now watch me as I cook Mac and Cheese while writing a chapter!

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With Laurali, 100 feet from the ground… 

"I reeeeeeeaallly wish I remembered how to land!"

Things were not going well for our white haired friend.

Back with Naruto and Sakura… 

"Sakura-chan?"

"Yes Naruto?"

"Why am I on your kitchen table? The last thing I remember is seeing Laurali look hot… Did I pass out from blood loss again?"

Sakura nodded as she dragged Naruto off her table.

"Can you stand up now, Naruto-baka?"

"I think so." Naruto stood up and walked to Sakura's front door.

"Hey, before you go, what were my name and address doing on your refrigerator?

"Bye Sakura-chan!"

Sakura just sighed and cleaned up the bloody mess that was the remains of The Great Frog Hermit. (Beta: WHY DID YOU KILL HIM????)(A/N: relax, he'll be okay with a plot hole or two.)

Back with Laurali, who was mysteriously only a few feet closer to the ground… 

"I sure am glad I remembered a parachute! Girl scouts really paid off!"

Then, she looked down.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HHHHHH—Who are you?"

Laurali had noticed a person on the ground. Right where she would land. Thankfully, that person looked up, and with an amazing display of luck caught Laurali.

"Hello, I'm Dancia."

Laurali blinked.

"Laurali. Thanks for catching me."

"You're welcome."

Laurali stood up and brushed off some imaginary dirt.

"Well, I'm off to go protect Naruto! Have a good day! "

And with that, Laurali Strolled back to Naruto's house. But on the way there, she got a random and totally off topic Idea.

She was going to build something. With ramen.

"Oh Naruto-sama…."

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Heh heh. You like? Again, thanks to Dr. Dani Suess for reviewing

Sorry it's so short, I have writers block.

REVIEW!.


	4. The Discovery of Laurali's Doughnut Love

I'm begging my sister who has actual artistic talent to please draw me a picture of Laurali so you guys can stop wondering what she looks like.

Until then, ENJOY!

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Two hours Later, inside the Forest of DEATH… 

"Remind me why we're here again, Laurali?"

"Simple. We are going BACK IN TIME!"

She turned her head expectantly towards a few trees.

"I said, BACK IN TIME!"

Shikamaru walked into the clearing, dragging behind him a giant…um… Thing… made of ramen.

Naruto started crying.

"Why? Now I can't eat that ramen! WHHHHHHYYYYYYY????"

Laurali slapped him upside the head.

"Get a hold of yourself!"

Naruto stopped crying.

"But seriously. Why are we in the forest of death? Are we going back 'then'?" he asked.

Laurali thought for a minute.

"Not really… Well, unless you want to. The real reason we're here is because this is kinda illegal, and I'm too young and pretty to go to prison."

Naruto stood up.

"But why is it made out of ramen?"

"That is for me to know, and the world to never find out. Now, do me a favor and step inside."

Naruto just shrugged and stepped into the ramen-y door.

"Let'er rip, Shika!"

"Troublesome…"

Laurali grabbed Shikamaru's hair and jumped into the time machine, closing the door behind her.

It vibrated, and then popped, disappearing,

Somewhere in the past… 

"Well, lookee here! We're in The Hospital! Who's the screaming blond lady being rolled down the hall with the YondaimeHokage at her side saying it will be okay, the baby will be here soon?_"_

"COOL! I didn't know the Yondaime Hokage had a kid!" Naruto yelled.

The medics stopped wheeling the screaming lady down the hall.

"Who the heck are you?" one asked.

"Um…"

"THE BABY!!!!!!" The woman yelled, turning red.

Laurali blinked. "This lady's giving birth? And she bears a unique resemblance to Naruto? And there is a rather large fox with a considerable amount of spinal extensions outside? And—Hey, are those doughnuts?"

She followed a large cart of the delicious pastries into anther room.

Several people in the hall were puzzled.

"Ya know, that woman is in a lot of pain right now," Laurali said, popping her head out the door, "I'd go birth her if I was you."

"Right," the doctors chorused and wheeled the screaming lady into a room.

"Well, that was…um…" Naruto tried to say.

"Troublesome?" Shikamaru offered.

"Whatever," Laurali waved it off, "Let's go…BACK TO THE FUTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Isn't that a movie?"

"Yes. It is." Laurali rolled her eyes.

"Can we just get back in the machine??" Shikamaru yelled.

"Touché." Laurali jumped into the time machine, dragging Naruto and Shika with her.

"BACK TO THE FUTURE!!!"

Do I even have to tell you who said that last thing?

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Yeah. My hand is cramping up.


	5. Laurali's not a Morning Person!

I'm begging my sister who has actual artistic talent to please draw me a picture of Laurali so you guys can stop wondering what she looks like.

Until then, ENJOY!

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_Somewhere in the Timestream_…

"Shika… I think we're lost…"

"Troublesome. And don't call me that."

The Ramentimethingy2000 (and no, my spacebar is just fine) had shut itself off automatically.

In the middle of getting… BACK TO THE FUTURE!

And it was out of fuel.

Which was Ramen.

That Naruto ate.

"YOU RETARD!!!! YOU ATE OUR FUEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Now, they were lost…IN TIME.

But thankfully, they got back five minutes before they left.

_Five Minutes Later..._

"Well, That was FUN!" Laurali exclaimed.

"Yeah. Sure it was," Shikamaru drawled sarcastically. "I'm going home."

"YOU HAVE FUN WITH THAT!" Laurali yelled after him as he disappeared into the trees.

"Can I eat your Time Machine now Laurali-chan?"

"Go right ahead, Naruto-kun."

As they walked back to Naruto's house, Laurali noticed the beautiful sunset.

And remembered that she had neglected to get a room.

"Hey Naruto-san-kun-sama-senpai-donno-chan?"

Naruto stopped eating the ramen."What's with all the suffixes, dattebayo?"

"I'm trying to butter you up."

"For what?"

"Heh...hah..."

_One __very__ painful hour later..._

"I'm glad we came to this agreement, Naruto-kun."

"MMMMMMMFFFFF!"

"Indeed."

"MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMHGFFF! MMMMGH MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMFGFFF!"

"No need to swear, now."

Laurali reached over and turned out the light on a bound and gagged Naruto.

"Sweet dreams!"

"Mmmmffgggg..."

_The next morning..._

"GOOD MORNING STARSHINE! THE EARTH SAYS HELLO!"

"WAAAGH!"

Laurali was not in fact, the one yelling.

She also was not a morning person.

"I'll give you a ten second head start, Naruto-_kun._" she said menacingly, stressing the suffix mockingly.

Poor Naruto didn't stand a chance.

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Hah! Betcha thought I was gonna end the chappie, huh? No, but I'm going to finally put the NaruHina-ie goodness in the chase scene.

And as for all you potential Flamers, I know this disrupts the flow, But this was oringally just a short chapter, so be thankful I made it longer.

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"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-- OOOF!"

Naruto crashed into somthing.

Or rather, some_one_.

"AAAH! Naruto kun is_ very _close!' Hinata thought, almost fainting and red as a beet.

'**Oh come **_**on.**_' Inner Hinata thought taking control.

Hinata kissed Naruto very uncharecteristicly. 'Is Ino practicing her mind control technique on me agian?' Hinata thought still kissing Naruto.'**NO WAY! I'm your inner self. I was just on vacation these last fourteen years.'** 'Oh. This is nice!'

Then Naruto broke off the kiss. "Wow Hinata, you're a great kissser!"

Hinata blushed even more as Naruto came in for another. Then they heard the sound of someone crying.

"WAahh! I need a man...I FEEL SO ALONE!" Laurali sobbed from behind them."Hey! I know!I'll just chase the next person I see into submission!"

Just then, Kiba walked by with Akamaru."Hey 'nata! Nice boyfriend!"

'I totally lucked out!! He's _hot_.' Laurali thought going into Fangirl mode. "SQUEEEEEE!"

Let's Hope Kiba survives.

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Next Time on The Great Adventures of Naruto and Laurali:

"WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO KIBA-KUN, AKAMARU- KUN?"

"WOOF!" Translation: YOU SMELL FUNNY!

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My hand is cramping up. AGAIN. GEEZ. Do you think I made Laurali too Mary Sue-ish? If I did, can you please let me down gently?


	6. A Subliminal Message of Great Urgency!

To whom it May Concern:

I am officially discontinuing this story (And DELETEING it)unless one person (only one!) reviews. I mean come ON! I might have scared a bunch of you potential reveiwers off with the whole dieing thing, but I meant in the story! Please? I'll bring you back with a plot hole? This is pathectic! I have seem lots of crappier stories than this with more reveiws!

Do I have to Brainwash you??

You'**RE** all **V**ery **I**mportant to th**E** **W**riting an**D** continu**A**tion of this fic, and just knowing that you read it **M**akes **M**e **I**mmensely ecs**T**atic!

subliminalmessage**REVIEW**subliminalmessage**REVIEW**subliminalmessage**REVIEW**subliminalmessage**REVIEW**subliminalmessage

**REVIEW**subliminalmessage**REVIEW**subliminalmessage**REVIEW**subliminalmessage**REVIEW**subliminalmessage**REVIEW**

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**REVIEW**subliminalmessage**REVIEW**subliminalmessage**REVIEW**

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Now REVIEW, Knaves!


	7. Laurali's Sad Attempt at Being a Fangirl

'Now, how should I go about stal— _investigating _this guy?' Laurali thought.

'Oh! I KNOW! I'll ask a professional!' It was like a little light bulb went off above her head.

Then she reached her hand up above her head. "Dang. No light bulb!"

Shrugging, she walked away to the hot spring.

A few minutes later… 

"That was relaxing! Now I think I'll go ask Hinata for stalk—erm, _investigating_ tips!"

Just then Akamaru ran by.

'Hey! That was Aka—Ak—whatever his name is! That's Kiba's dog!'

Kiba also ran by yelling, "Give my jacket back! I'm sorry I called your mom a mutt!"

Laurali's eyes turned to hearts. Her head tilted to the side and she started drooling.

Then snapping out of it, she pressed a spot on her black stiletto heel. Twin jets of fire sprouted out of each knee-high boot. Rising into the air, she zoomed towards Kiba.

"Oi, Kiba- Kun!" She shrieked.

Unfortunately, she was new at flying, and she missed, crashing into Akamaru.

"Arf!"

"Sorry!" she yelled, but she couldn't stop. 'No wonder these were on sale!'

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

She crashed head first into a building, probably getting some brain damage.

Thankfully, it was the hospital.

"Moo…" She said.

Yup, she got brain damage.

"What an Idiot!" A nurse said, wheeling her in.

"OOOH! I know a song about an Idiot!" She yelled grabbing her abnormally unusual guitar off her back

"Don't wanna be a Canadian idiot!  
Don't wanna be some beer swillin' hockey nut.  
And do I look like some frostbitten hose-head?  
I never learned my alphabet from A to Zed!

They all live on donuts and moose meat  
And they leave the house without packin' heat.  
Never even bring their guns to the mall!  
And you know what else is too funny?  
Their stupid Monopoly money!  
Can't take 'em seriously at all!

Well maple syrup and snow's what they export.  
They treat curling just like it's a real sport.  
They think their silly accent is so cute,  
Can't understand a thing they're talkin' aboot!

Sure they got their national health care,  
Cheaper meds, low crime rates and clean air.  
Then again well they got Celine Dion.  
Eat their weight in Kraft macaroni  
And dream of drivin' a Zamboni  
All over Saskatchewan!

Don't wanna be a Canadian idiot  
Won't figure out their temperature in Celsius  
See the map, they're hoverin' right over us  
Tell you the truth, it makes me kinda nervous!

Always hear the same kind of story  
Break their nose and they'll just say "soory"  
Tell me what kind of freaks are that polite?  
It's gotta mean they're all up to somethin'  
So quick, before they see it comin'  
Time for a pre-emptive strike!

Yay! Canadia!"

The Nurse visibly twitched. "WHAT'VE YOU GOT AGAINST CANADIANS, PUNK?"

"Muffins!" Laurali replied.

Unfortunately for our little brain-damaged friend, the nurse was Canadian.

The angry lady pushed her right out of the hospital.

"Oo! I'm going to start a band! CAUSE I FEEL LIKE IT! AND I CAN SING PRETTY DARN WELL! AND THIS GUITAR IS JUST ITCHIN TO _ROCK!_"

Then she passed out.

Thankfully Naruto was walking to the ramen stand to get some lunch.

He just shrugged and wheeled the hospital bed with Laurali and her guitar in it to the ramen stand.

_Meanwhile, in Laurali's Dream…_

_"Kiba, why don't you LOVE me?" _

_"Because Akamaru keeps saying that you smell funny. And I don't date musicians." _

_Dream Laurali started crying. "WAHH!" While Akamaru yelled at her, "You smell funny!" _

_Then Darth Vader came in wearing a tutu. _

_"THAT'S IT!" Dream Laurali yelled. "Before Anakin was evil, he was HOT! All the good-looking guys are evil! I am a genius!" _

Waking up, she yelled, "Pack your bags, Naruto! We're going to a remote location in which I might be able to find an evil organization such as the Akatsuki and a DATE!"

She grabbed his wrist and dragged him to his apartment. "But what about the ramen? I haven't paid! They might never let me come back!"

Laurali stopped and thought for a moment.

"Put it on my tab!" She yelled at Ayame.

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Well, This is a nice mess. Laurali's dragged Naruto into a new huge, life threatening situation, and she started a tab. I must stop listening to Weird Al while I write Fanfiction. 


	8. Laurali Finally Gets a Man

_On a train, headed to a remote location likely to be inhabited by the Akatsuki…_

Naruto and Laurali were both bouncing up and down on their seats.

"This Is Awesome! I can't believe we got an entire car to ourselves! And I can't believe it has a library of jutsu scrolls and great literature and a fireplace with two comfy large chairs all because you flirted with the ticket man!"

Laurali stopped bouncing. "When you say it, it makes me feel like a slut."

"Naruto stopped bouncing. "Sorry." Then he remembered something. Something important… "Hey Laurali-chan, is Tsunade-baa-chan going to get mad because we left without telling her?"

Laurali just smiled and waved it off. "No way, silly! I left her a note."

"Okay then… if you left her a note…" Naruto cautiously replied, taking a scroll off the shelf and beginning to read it.

Meanwhile, at Tsunade's office… 

Tsunade was reading a note and having a small amount of trouble, seeing as her English was a bit rusty.

_Dear Tsunade-san,_

_Me (Laurali) and Naruto have gone on an extended journey. Relax, he is not going Missing-nin. We will be back within a week or two, and if we die, he says you can have all his stuff. I'll pay for this as a mission. Tell me the rank when we get back._

_Toodles,_

_Laurali and Naruto._

_P.S. Naruto says not to drink too much sake._

Tsunade banged her head against her desk.

This was going to be a long week or two.

Back with Naruto and Company… 

Naruto had pocketed the scroll and was reading 'Oliver Twist' while Laurali stared intently at 'Getting a Date with a Hot Evil Guy For Nincompoops'

"Wow!" Naruto exclaimed. "I can really identify with this guy! Can you, Laurali-chan?"

"Hmm?" She said, shutting her book.

"This guy's poor, and an orphan, and all the adults hate him! What was your past like?"

"Well… I was filthy stinkin' rich. My childhood rocked." She replied calmly.

Naruto sweat dropped. "Then why did you leave your parents and come here?"

"I saw a movie and thought, 'Why can't I do that? I look better than those guys! I can totally be a good guy and fight evil!' So I got my sister to teach me Japanese, and I Hijacked one of my daddy's jets, and started singing in Japanese bars, until I came across an ancient samurai order, merged one of their swords with my guitar, and sang in bars again until I came across chicken-butt, thus meeting you! Isn't that awesome?"

Naruto blinked and sank into his chair. "That was the longest sentence I've ever heard anyone say."

"Yeah, I know." Laurali replied. "Hey, the train is stopping! We're here!"

Grabbing Naruto and all their baggage, she rushed through the empty train, getting off at the minuscule platform.

"Where exactly is 'here'?" Naruto asked.

"Well, according to the GPS chip I had my darling cousin plant into Itachi's head, we're at a small town in the land of honey." Laurali replied, walking down the white steps and into a nearby forest.

"What's a GPS?" Naruto questioned, but Laurali didn't hear him.

"Coming?" She asked Naruto, taking out her guitar again.

Naruto nodded and burst onto a branch. Then, smiling, he yelled, "Race ya!"

"Okay!" Laurali yelled back, spinning her guitar so fast she rose into the air, easily keeping up with the blond shinobi.

Naruto was surprised at first, but then relaxed a little. "So, who's this cousin of yours?"

"Kaka-kun."

"Who?" Naruto asked, a little confused.

"Sorry, that's my pet name for him. I gave to him when I was two, what'd you expect? His real name is Kakashi."

Naruto was more than a little shocked. "KAKASHI- SENSEI IS YOUR COUSIN???"

"Yes. The light hair is hereditary."

"Then I guess Ero-sennin is your grandpa?"

"Actually, he's my great uncle." Laurali started to sink a little, but caught herself.

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Hey, are there any other people who live here you're related to?"

"Sure," Laurali said back. "Kabuto. He's my um… third cousin or so. Maybe fourth."

"Okay then… why are we talking about you so much?" Naruto slowed down a little.

"Um… because… Hey look, were here!"

"Where exactly is 'here'?" Naruto asked, landing quickly.

"According to my GPS-- " Laurali started to say, but Naruto interrupted "WHAT THE (beep) IS A GPS?" (A/N: CURSE YOU BETA!!!!)

" It stands for Global Positioning System, no need to yell. Gosh!" Laurali did her best Napoleon Dynamite impression.

"What?" Naruto was not very seasoned when it came to movie watching.

"Never mind. But look at that!" Laurali shouted, pointing at something.

"What's that??" Naruto shouted back.

"This here is a pile of rocks. But this," Laurali pointed, "Is an evil lair."

"Of who?"

"The Akatsuki, obviously." Laurali rolled her eyes.

"Are you sure I can go in there without being killed?"

"I can't guarantee anything. But when you go in you _will_ be amazed." Laurali said, as she grabbed her guitar again.

As Naruto backed away slowly, Laurali swung the huge instrument, beating down a rocky door.

"Alright maggots, hot guys on the left, ugly people on the right. MOVE!"

The Akatsuki stopped what ever they were doing and held their hands up, moving from where they were to against the wall.

"How did you get them to do that?" Naruto asked, wide eyed.

"A few months ago, I figured out they all had deep rooted, Physiological fears of female musicians. Weird, huh?"

Naruto nodded, poking one of them.

"Hey, look at this!" Laurali said, jerking her thumb towards Hidan. "This guy thinks he's hot!"

As she cracked up, she leaned on Hidan for support.

"Oh, that's rich," she said, wiping a tear from her eye. "Move." Shoving Hidan, she moved across the room.

Stopping, she kicked Deidara in his manhood.

As he fell to the ground whimpering and in tears, she said, "Okay he's a man. I was wrong."

Just then, Tobi burst in. "Tobi will save you!"

"Okay, if we're all speaking in the third person, Naruto thinks Tobi's creepy!"

Laurali didn't even hear him.

"Hellllo? Laurali? Are you ok—Oh." Laurali had gone into total fan girl mode.

Naruto sighed.

Cries of stuff like "She's gone!" "The kid's open!" and "Get him, Kisame!" were heard.

Naruto grabbed the lovesick fan girl and ran. Just as they were getting out—

"MANGEKOU SHARINGAN!" Naruto shut his eyes, but Laurali was still lovesick

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Laurali was on the ground in a fetal position. "He hurt My BABY!" She screamed.

Getting up she said darkly, "I'll be sure to go to your funeral when you DIE!"

She slapped him and hit him repeatedly with her guitar.

_A few minutes Later…_

"Okay, he's not dead, just unconscious. I think." Laurali said, poking Itachi. "Now, where is that guy that came in to save them? I pick him."

Deidara started doing his happy dance.

"GAH! MY EYES! THEY BUUUUUUUURN!" Naruto shrieked, holding his head and weeping.

Tobi jumped down from where he was standing.

"You pick Tobi for what?" He asked.

Laurali cleared her throat and snapped her fingers.

Several people immediately ran around and set up the scene.

Now, they were on a southern plantation, Laurali's regular attire of a black tube top, leather jacket and black jeans was replaced with a red, Gone- with- the- Wind style dress.

Tobi was wearing a suit.

"Please, sir, would you meah the honor of accompanang me back to Konoha? It would be a large pleaseure on myh behalf," She said with a southern accent. (Beta: That would explain your bad spelling.) (a/n: Shut up.)

"Tobi doesn't know…. Senpai and Leader-sama might get mad…"

Both Deidara and the leader held up a huge 'Go with them, Tobi!' sign.

"okay… if they say I can…"

"Great! Let's leave now!"

"Gah!"

And so, Tobi got a girlfriend, Laurali Finally got a man, and Naruto discovered one of the seven horrors of the world.

He got his sight back on the way home, though.

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ReVeIw rEvEiW REVIEW review

OR ELSE.


	9. Neji Discovers a Lack of Teaching Skills

This is kind of a filler for what comes next. If you guess what's gonna happen you get a virtual Corvette!

Oh yes, due to the annoying Lawyer that has decied to sue me, I have to put in a disclaimer. And, because I'm oh so random , I will do it... IN SONG! HIT IT CHICKEN-BUTT!

Sasuke: M.I.L.B.A.S. Does not own Naruto, and... THIS IS RIDICULOUS! I'M GOING TO GO KILL MY BROTHER!

You do that, chicken-butt! ON WITH THE STORY!

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_Back in Konoha after that little escapade…_

"I'M BORED!!!!!!!!!" Laurali was bored. "I HATE RAMEN!!!" And she was sick of ramen.

"Sh… she didn't mean that…" Naruto whispered to his precious noodles.

"I'm going to find something to do!" Laurali yelled. "Call me if you find yourself in a life threatening situation!" She then marched off.

Naruto just shrugged and ate her ramen for her.

With Laurali… 

'Grr! I am so BORED! Hey look, a big red tower.'

Yes, young Laurali had spotted the hokage tower.

'I wonder what it's for…. I'll go find out!'

She walked through the tower, nobody stopping her.

Then she approached Tsunade's office, after hearing loud chugging noises.

Tsunade was not drunk yet.

She was a little tipsy, though.

Just then, Laurali remembered what Naruto had said about this place.

'Oh yeah… This is Hokage tower! And that's Tsunade-baa-chan! This where all the ninja are! And—Hey! I wanna be a ninja!'

"Waddya want?" Tsunade asked.

I said she was a little tipsy!

"Well, I'd like a pony, but you can't give me one, so I'd like a ninja headband."

"Only shinobi and kunochi can wear those."

"Then I'll become a shinobi!"

"Kunochi."

"Whatever. How do I become one?"

Tsunade yawned. "You just go over to the academy and pass the genin exams. Then you're a genin and the first class of ninja. The exams are in three days. Good luck."

Then she nodded off.

Laurali poked her.

Then dashed off.

Later…This is all in dialogue, and you don't have to read it if you don't want to… 

"Hey, Naruto-kun, can you help me with something?"

"No."

"Than—Wait, why not?"

"Because I'm eating ramen."

"(Beep) Ramen lovers."(CURSE YOU BETA!!!)

With Shikamaru… 

"Hey, Shika, can you--"

"No."

"Dang."

With Neji… 

"_Neji…"_

"_Wake up, Neji…"_

"Wha…?"

"_I'm destiny…"_

"Destiny…?"

"_Yes, destiny. It is your destiny to walk over to Ichirikus and help the white haired girl there…_"

"Okay…"

Laurali smiled and took off the voice changer. She'd have to thank Hinata later for the key to Neji's room.

At Ichiraku's… 

"So Neji, what do I do again?"

Neji sighed. He was beginning to hate destiny.

He made such a sucky sensei.

_One week later, in a Fancy, expensive restaurant..._

Laurali, Naruto, Tobi and Hinata were sitting around a large table.

"L-Laurali-chan, I-I-I'm gl-glad you p-passed." Hinata sipped her drink.

"I am too, Hinata. Tobi! Stop eating the flowers! Bad boy!" Laurali slapped Tobi's arm.

"Tobi will be a good boy! Tobi is just hungry!"

"Relax, the food's coming soon," Naruto assured Tobi.

Laurali fingered the rhinestone on her collar, looking over at Naruto's suit. It was orange.

With her black cocktail dress, and Tobi's black and orange jacket, they clashed horribly with Hinata's light violet strapless dress.

But they were having fun anyway.

Naruto was treating them all to dinner to celebrate Laurali's passing of the genin exam.

And here was the food.

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Now go eat something while I type the next chappie.


	10. The Apocolypse

This chapter is dedicated to Dr. Dani Seuss, my one and only reviewer. (hint hint, nudge nudge.)

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_Later that night…_

"Hinata, Thanks for going out with me." Naruto said, walking Hinata home.

"I had a great time," Hinata replied, not even stuttering.

Just as Naruto was about to open the door, Hinata grabbed him and started passionately kissing him.

Then, the door opened.

"NEJI???" The figure inside yelled.

"WHAT??????" Naruto shrieked, taking off 'Hinata's' wig.

The figure stared laughing, as they shouted inside "C'MERE 'NATA!"

Hinata gasped and fainted. Her own cousin had been kissing her crush. And he was GAY.

(I apologize to any readers (Aka potential flamers) who support NejixNaruto. This is not insulting you or your ship, I just thought Hinata was acting OOC, and I'm too lazy to go back and fix it.)

Neji was blushing profusely. "HIASHI MADE ME TO DO IT!!!!!" he yelled, running off to go get counseling.

_The Morning after…_

Laurali was bored. AGAIN.

"WHY IS LIFE SO (BEEP)IN' DULL?????!!?"

Then she remembered the events of the past week.

'Hey, I'm a ninja! I can go on missions and stuff!'

_Several hours later…_

"Tsunade-sama, why do you hate me so?" Laurali asked Tsunade, slumped on the floor.

"If you don't like the missions I give you, why do you keep doing them?"

"Number one," Laurali held up a finger, "I'm bored. Number two," She said, holding up another finger, "There's nothing better to do. Is there anything potentially dangerous I can get done?"

"Well, the chunin exams are coming up--" Tsunade started.

"Great! Where do I sign up?" Laurali interrupted.

"But you just became a genin, so I don't recommend it." Tsunade finished. "And besides, you have to get a three man team and a jounin recommendation."

"Where do I sign up?" Laurali asked again impatiently.

A little Tsunade with horns and a pitchfork poofed into existence on Tsunade's shoulder.

"Let the kid go," It said, "If she dies, she won't be around to annoy you."

A little Tsunade with wings and a halo proofed on her other shoulder.

"Why not let her go? She wants to do it."

"Aren't you guys supposed to disagree?" Tsunade asked the mini Tsunades on her shoulder.

"See Ya!" The devilish one poofed again.

"Goodbye!" The angelic one waved, disappearing.

"Okay, I guess—"

"YAY¡Gracias, señora bonita! Il signifie beaucoup à moi!" Laurali yelled trilingually as she jumped through the window.

'What did she just call me?' Tsunade thought

Shaking her head, she quickly yelled through the window, "BUT YOU'LL STILL NEED THE OTHER STUFF!"

Laurali just shrugged and went into the direction of an old friends house.

_At said old Friends house…_

"HEY COUZ!" Laurali yelled, dropping down from the ceiling.

"GAH!" Said 'couz' was on the ground, holding several, sharp pointy, potentially eye-poking-out objects.

"Hey, aren't you supposed to be a ninja? Couldn't you sense my presence or something?"

"Yes, but Jariya (sp?) just gave me a new Icha Icha book, and it's so captivating, I couldn't—"

"'Nuff said." Laurali replied. "I need you to recommend me for the Chunin Exams."

"HA! You're just a kid! You wouldn't last ten seconds in there!"

"I'm fourteen!" Laurali huffed. "And Naruto's going with me."

"You'll need a third member."

"Then I'll ask someone! Just recommend us already!"

"Fine," 'Couz' said. "But don't blame me if you die."

"THANKIES!" Laurali yelled as she jumped out the window and ran to find Naruto.

_With Naruto…_

"Hey buddy," Laurali whispered, "Wanna be a Chunin?"

"Laurali, take off the trench coat and tell me what you mean by that." Naruto answered.

"Dang." She said, shrugging off the questionable coat. "I asked Tsunade-chan if I could enter the chunin exams. She said yes, but I had to get a jounin recommendation and a three-man team. I was wondering, since you're the last genin in your age group, if you could--"

"Enter with you? Sure." Naruto finished. "But we'll still need a third member."

"I got that covered." Laurali said, sneakily.

Then, she whistled loudly and with her fingers in her mouth. Suddenly, the sky went dark. Cries of "Move, move, MOVE!" were heard from above, and shouts of "RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!" and "IT'S THE APOCOLPYSE!" were heard around the village.

Several paratroopers descended from the sky, all towards Konoha.

Naruto ran for cover, but Laurali just stood there and smiled.

Once all the troopers landed, Laurali yelled at Naruto "YOU CAN COME OUT NOW!"

"Report," She said to a soldier.

"Ma'am Yes, Ma'am! Paratroop deployment _Success_! Ma'am!"

"Dismissed." She said to him.

Naruto cautiously came out of hiding. "Who're they?" he asked.

"Naruto, this is my Dad's personal Regiment of the United States Air Force," She gestured toward the paratroopers. "And this," She pointed to a certain paratrooper, "Is my twin sister, Laura."

The paratrooper took off her helmet, long raven hair swooping out of the Army greens.

"Yo," She said, taking off her parachute.

"Sister dearest is also an honorary Suna kunoichi." Laurali said.

"Yep," Laura replied, unzipping her uniform to reveal an outfit similar to Laurali's, only white and with an electric piano on her back instead of a guitar. Her hiai-ite (sp?) was on her waist.

"So, what's up? Why'd you call us?"

"One," Laurali began, holding up a finger, "I left my Ipod in your room,"

Laura tossed a black object at her.

"Thanks, "Laurali said, pocketing it. "And Two," she held up another finger, "We need another person to go with us to the chunin exams. Can you come?" She made the I'm-so-cute-and-adorable-how-can-you-resist? Face.

"Well," Laura said, rubbing her chin, "I guess I could—GAH!"

"ThankyouThankyouThankyou!" Laurali yelled, glomping her.

"Okaaay," Naruto said.

_A few days later, outside the Exam building …_

"YAY! I FEEL SO ALIIIIIVE!" Laurali sang.

As they walked through the building, she did her Happy Dance.

A hapless genin clutched his eyes and screamed.

"Sorry!" Laurali apologized, loudly.

As they walked into the building, Laurali continued happy-dancing.

"Stop that!" Laura growled at her. "You're scarring people!"

"No," Laurali replied, "I'm eliminating the competition."

She danced all the way to room 301.

_Somewhere in the middle of nowhere…_

_Wait a second… _

_Aw, never mind._

"Karin, I don't know what to do," Sasuke said, strewn across the ground. "I've tried every plan to kill Itachi from A to Y."

"A to Y?" Karin said.

"Yea, A to Y. Y'know, the alphabet." Sasuke replied.

"What about Z?" Karin asked.

"Z?" Sasuke answered.

"Yes, Z the letter after Y."

Sasuke opened up a file cabinet. "A, X,Y, Z! Here it is!" he yelled. "Just like you said!"

"Joy," Karin said, rolling her eyes.

"Ooh, Oh!" Sasuke admired the plan. "It's evil… It's diabolical… IT'S LEMON SECENTED! Oh, enjoy today, Itachi, for Tomorrow, YOU ARE MINE!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

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Well, there you have it. My first chapter in weeks. Sorry it took so long.

**RE**ally, it would be **V**ery n**I**c**E** if you **W**ould **_REVIEW!!!!_**

**DO IT! **

**YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO! **

And I might consider writing in the person who reviews first…

Maybe.


	11. Laurali Dies Repeatedly

As team Laurali (Beta: Oo... Catchy.) Walked into the room where the written exam was to take place, they saw a mysterious figure Standing At the front of the room.

Mysterious because she was so… young. She didn't look old enough to be in control of an entire exam.

She was also blonde.

Standing next to her was another blond we know and love (and a few hate….)

TSUNADE! (Beta: Dun dun dun…)

"HIYAS!" the first Blonde chirped. "I'm the authoress! I can destroy you all without a second thought!"

"And I'm the hokage!" Tsunade said. "I'm here to make sure she doesn't destroy you with out a second thought!"

"We're also here to tell you that due to the fact it is our birthday tomorrow, and I am going on vacation, I will not be updating at all for the next two weeks or so."

"So sad," Tsunade added.

"However, " The Authoress continued, "I am working on a chapter, and if I have it finished by the time I leave, I will post it."

"There's hope!" Tsunade summarized.

"And, I will also be working on all the chapters I can during the long car ride."

"Let's hope you don't barf on them!" Tsunade furthered.

"I don't get carsick." The authoress turned back to the examinees. "Now, Mr. Morino will give you your exam. Have fun!"

She waved as she ushered Tsunade out the door.

"Well, that was weird," Laurali said, staring at the place where they had been.

She suddenly died.

"That's for calling me weird!" the authoress said.

As Laura and Naruto desperately tried to revive her, a beautiful winged lady floated through the door.

She scribbled something on a piece of notebook paper, and Laurali was alive again.

The lady smiled.

Then Laurali died again.

The lady frowned and wrote something on the paper.

Laurali was alive again!

Then she died.

Alive!

Dead.

Alive!

**Dead!**

_**Alive!**_

"Quit It!" Laurali yelled.

The authoress mumbled something like "stupid beta…"and left the building, the Beta (Beta: a.k.a. the **B**eautiful, **E**legant, **T**otally **A**wesome lady) following.

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_**REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_

_**PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_

_**I BEG OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_


	12. Pirate Monkeys

_In Training area 44…_ _AKA The Forest of DEATH…_

"I'm so happy I could sing!" Laurali cried out as they rode along the river in a canoe.

"I'll sing about one of Ninja's worst enemies! PIRATES! CAUSE I FEEL LIKE IT!"

And so she sang.

"Yo Ho, Yo Ho! A pirate's life for me.

We pillage, we plunder, we rifle and loot.  
Drink up me 'earties, Yo Ho!  
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot.  
Drink up me 'earties, Yo Ho!"

Right before she sang the chorus, she stopped suddenly.

"I hears a noise…." She whispered. "A _sinister_ noise…"

"What kind of noise?" Naruto asked.

"The kind of noise that makes you want to… THROW A POINTY AND/OR POTENAILLY DANGEROUS OBJECT INTO THE ARSE OF A CHICKEN!!!!"

"_Oh no…" _Naruto thought._ "I know a guy with a chicken's arse on his head!"_

A chicken came out, clucking indignantly.

Naruto sweat dropped.

But then Laura sniffed the air.

"I smells an Emo…" she whispered.

Laura's eyes grew wide.

"EVERYBODY DOWN!" Naruto yelled tipping the canoe.

The twins held it down on the bottom, conserving their air.

"Did you smell anything more direct than just 'Emo'?" Laurali whispered to Laura.

"There're four of them…one smelt like a fangirl."

Suddenly, another person materialized between Laurali and Naruto. Laurali screamed and punched him in the face.

The mysterious person simply caught the fist and twisted it around, causing Laurali to loose her grip on the canoe.

Laura, disgusted at seeing her little (By eight minutes, but still her imouto-chan,) sister treated like that, took action.

She kicked the guy in his nuts. She didn't even notice Naruto drifting to the surface, still holding the canoe.

Nobody messed with her baby sister but her.

Grabbing the (now in pain) mysterious man, she touched Laurali, pointed to the surface, and then swam up.

Laurali, still nursing her hand, followed.

Upon bursting to the surface, she yelled,

"HOW _INVIGORATING! _Nothing like swimming to the bottom of a river carrying a canoe, ay, Naruto-_kun?_"

"Sorry," Naruto apologized, "I heard 'emo' and thought the worst."

"And here comes the worst," A voice said from the trees.

"Teme," Naruto said, as if stating the danger.

"Dobe," The owner of the voice said.

"HEY, IT'S THAT GUY FROM THE BAR! HE OWES ME MONEY!!!" Laurali yelled.

"AND HE HAS A RIDICULUSLY TWISTED SENSE OF FASHION!" Laura added.

"I MEAN LOOK AT THAT BELT!" She continued. "SOMEBODY COULD JUST PULL IT, AND DOWN GO THE PANTS!" (Beta: 'S true, that belt is hideous!)

A little light bulb went off above Laurali's head.

She pantsed him.

"You have just been pantsed, courtesy of the Evil Twin," She said, bowing elegantly to Sasuke as she scooted back to Naruto and Laura.

Then she noticed his choice of underwear.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (hack hack) HA (cough) ha…."

They were PINK. With little kitties and Uchiha fans on them.

Laurali giggled as she lay on the ground

Sasuke was blushing profusely as he pulled up his pants, muttering something about laundry.

"Ya know," Laurali started, standing back up, "For someone who gives such a intimidating first impression, you sure are a wimp."

Sasuke visibly twitched. "Sic 'em, Juugo!"

Juugo leapt out from behind Sasuke, baring his teeth and barking like a dog.

"SAVE ME!" Laurali yelped, holding Naruto in front of her.

"Aren't you supposed to be _my _body guard?" Naruto asked fearfully as he pushed Laurali in front of him.

"Well, um... I guess, but…uh… I'm a lady! And it is your sworn duty as a kunoichi--"

"Shinobi." Laura interrupted.

"Whatever. It is your sworn duty as a shinobi to protect me and my innocence!" she smiled, liking her explanation

"But Laurali, " Naruto said, "You're a kunoichi, so that doesn't apply!"

"Yeah well um… I don't know any Jutsus! So I can't fight!"

"You also know at least some kenjustu! You can fight fine!" Naruto protested.

"En garde!" Juugo yelled, grabbing Suigetsu's huge sword and engaging Laurali in combat.

As they fought, they moved into the trees leaving everyone else alone in the clearing.

"What are you doing here?" Naruto asked Sasuke. "Finally coming back?"

"(Beep) no." Sasuke replied, "There's something here that I need."

"What might it be?" Laura asked, calm and collected. "Ramen?"

"No," Sasuke said. "It's the Dobe." (Beta: Believe me, I wasn't expecting this any more than you were.)

Juugo and Laurali were still fighting, clashing guitar edge against head cleaver.

Laurali was scared.

_No! _She thought._ I'm much too young, pretty and smartical to die!_

She then pulled a dirty, underhanded move.

"Hey look! What's that?"

"What do you -- OOF!" She had distracted Juugo with the classic 'Hey look' move, pinning him to the ground at the last second.

"Why you little..." Black marks began moving across Juugo's face.

"eep!" Laurali's eyes were as big as saucers. Not the normal kind, either. Those huge ones your grandma uses.

Just as Juugo was about to strike down the killing blow…

He was bombarded with a horde of monkeys. (Beta: Random, no?)

"Didn't see that coming." Laurali said.

_Meanwhile, Back with everybody else…_

Naruto was in shock.

Laura was doing CPR.

Sasuke was giggling evilly to himself.

Karin was thinking about how cute Sasuke was when he giggled evilly.

Suigetsu was watching Laura give Naruto CPR.

"Breath, Damn you! Breathe!" Laura yelled, CPRing Naruto more.

Just then, Laurali burst out of the bushes. 

"'Ello, poppets!" she smiled, turning around and yelling, 

"Okay boys, put 'im down here!" 

A horde of monkeys came, and put Juugo down next to Laurali.

Naruto woke up, "Ow, my head... It hurts..." 

"YOUR ALIVE!" Laura hugged him. Tightly. 

"OMG! SHE KILLED JUUGO!!!!!!1!1!" Suigetsu squealed. 

"I did? Oh, crap." Laurali tried to do CPR on Juugo, but not having taken a course, watch someone do CPR, or even being able to spell CPR, she failed miserably. 

Strangely enough, Juugo did wake up. Lucky her. 

"What happened back there?" he moaned. "I just blacked out." 

"Well..." 

_Flashback no Justu!_

_"Didn't see that coming." Laurali said. _

_A monkey walked up to her away from the swarm that was swarming Juugo._

_"Eee, Aaee, oo ooh!" He said._

_"Your the Squad of Undead Cursed by Aztec gold Pirate Monkeys?"_

_"ee ee! AAah, oooka ee!"_

_"And you're here because I called you with my pirate song?"_

_"KeeEE, EEEkE!"_

_"And If I want you to come in my time of need, all I have to do is sign this contract?"_

_"EEkk AAAaah oooooooooooo!"_

_"Sweet!" She took out a pen, and read the contract._

_"Blah blah blah... Bananananananas...Blah.. ...Legalites blah..."_

_And she signed her name at the bottom._

_"L, a, r, a, l, e, e."_

_"Eee, aa oa oo."_

_"What do you mean, I spelled my own name wrong?"_

_"ook."_

_"Oh." and so, she spelled her name right,thus giving herself a binding commitment._

_Release!_

"It was an actual contract? That you sign with a pen?" Sasuke was puzzled. 

"Yep." 

"We're leaving." Sasuke said, dragging Suigetsu and Juugo away. 

"Why?" Naruto yelled after him. 

"You're all too weird!" 

He threw something at them. 

It smacked Laurali in the face. 

"Hey look, the scroll we need!" Laura exclaimed, completely indifferent to Laurali's pain. 

"ow..." Laurali stood up, rubbing her head. 

A little light bulb popped on in her head again. 

"Let's surf to the Tower!" 

"How? we have no boards, no wetsuits, no waves, no a lot of stuff!" 

"Simple." Laurali answered her wet-blanket-of-a-sister's question. 

She walked behind a tree. When she came out, she was wearing a bikini. 

She threw wetsuits at Naruto and Laura. "Put these on," Then she whistled to her monkeys. 

"Okay, hold on one second!" Laura yelled. 

"THAT ENDING WAS _WEAK! DOES THE AUTHORESS HAVE NO CREATIVE TALENT AT ALL?_" 

Almost like magic, a huge hole opened in the ground and swallowed her up. 

"Well SOMEBODY'S a little sensitive!" Laurali yelled into the sky. 

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/ \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ \/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\\/\/ \//\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ 

Guys, I am so sorry! My parents blocked fanfiction after my sister got an f in math, So I haven't been able to post lately. 

I'm posting this at my library. Don't expect another chapter for a while, I probably won't be able to post much. Reviews are appreciated, though. 

review.**review.**_review.**review.**_review._** REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!**_


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